I had hoped that turning 40 this year would have been more fun. Starting this blog was a way, plus my naughty Twitter, on expressing myself. My true self. The one I have hidden for a long time, I have been writing my thoughts and feelings in tweets and people have been kind enough to give positive reviews. My increasingly exhibitionist pictures have given me an outlet for my naughty streak that must stay controlled.
I have begun exploring and reading around D/s and while I think I am more submissive I still find it difficult to reconcile my fiery argumentative nature with desire to be dominated. 2020 has given me an eye opener, a slight insight but perhaps my at points severe depression would not lend itself to it.
I had hoped 2020 would be a good year personally and professionally. Though it has not worked out that way- but same as been for many. I wanted to feel happy & more positive, ended up severely depressed & back under mental health team. Wanted to lose 3 stone- only 5 to go! Flirted with a twitter crush who has gone and I miss him and the laughter. Professionally I was seconded to a senior role and fought my way through it with COVID for 9 months. My job deals with it 24/7 and it has nearly broken me, I gave up my temporary promotion. I would have had it permanently but COVID almost destroyed my mental health.
The Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh has its clock set 3 minutes fast to help commuters catch their train, then on Hogmanay they match the countdown. This year they are not doing this. There will be no street party, no traditional celebrations and they wont change as nobody wants extra 3 minutes of this year!
To all of you I wish the very best. If I have hurt anyone through any comments that have been said/typed before my brain thought it through, I apologise. To all you wonderful people who have made me laugh and feel welcome thank you so very much xxx