Confidence

I started on NSFW Twitter about 13 months ago. Since then I think its fair to say my confidence has grown. In real life I am a middle aged mum, really curvy and lacking in self- confidence. Hitting 40 last year made me decide to be more daring. I wanted to know the real me that my upbringing suppressed. So I made a NSFW account…. for me this was very daring.

I have good boobs. No denials on that, even though they have been reduced, they still a great size! I was told as a young woman that it was the only reasoon any one ever hit on me. That dented my confidence as was my interest in D/s and spanking.

Now am 40 and my desires are increasing. My exhibitionist side has surged in past year, evidenced by my photos on my page! But, the biggest change for me in confidence as I have as I have been exploring how I feel about Dominance/submission. Finding my ‘voice’ in exploring blogging or short story and the feedback I have had πŸ’–

What has been surprising for me, although I imagine not to others more used to BDSM; is the feeling of empowerment I have found. I have been reading others posts, blogs, stories plus joined @thesafewordsclb and participating in chat forums. All of which is illuminating for a novice like me.

I am still trying to fully discover myself- I still bit confused by the ‘labels’.. I am submissive, but I have a very cuddly side- emphasised by a strong willed attitude and eye rolls! I push and push limits until I am pushed back at, then I submit. At home this very rarely happens, there have been times I was overwhelmed with stress and actively sought a reset, a rough one- but never got it.

Still have a long way to go in my understanding of Dominance & submission. I doubt I ever fully understand or experience this but my confidence has certainly improved. Something that has not gone unobserved by my best friend πŸ’–

Thank you my twitter friends for cheering me on, informing me of a whole world of experiences and generally just allowing this chubby, frumpy mum who has had self-confidence issues all her life to feel like she belongs and isnt a freak 😘

9 Comments

  1. An interesting insight, as a relative newcomer to your twitter, I just see a strong, attractive and sexy woman. Your self confidence in your body is one of your sexiest traits.

    Your strength is revealed by your openness of this piece.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. The confidence in my body is partly as anonymous and due to boobs… bellies etc I still hide but am more confident in general over who I am

      Like

  2. A wise friend once told me, “the day you stop learning about yourself and growing as a person is the day you truly die; everything after that is meaningless to who you are.”

    Never stop exploring yourself and the world around you!

    ~ Rakasa

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am so pleased that you found your way here and decided to let yourself out. We are all learning, many of us are exploring, and it has been fun to to get to know you and have you join in the fun. I wish that you could see yourself as others see you. You are gorgeous, energetic, passionate and kind and those things shine through on your blog and in your social interactions. Missy x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s wonderful to see your confidence has grown, and that you are getting to learn more about yourself, and be more yourself. I look forward to follow your journey, and continue reading your words.
    ~ Marie xox

    Liked by 1 person

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