Confused….

Exoring D/s as a newbie I am learning a whole lexicon of new terms. Exploring purely online in past year I have (virtually) met some fantastic supportive people. Who have been open to sharing information and experiences in order to increase my understanding. Learn, share, reflect grow and most importantly never judging. Thats so important as growing up and throughout my adult life, people I know have shamed people, mostly women, for exploring their sexuality.

I have identified that I am a submissive but…. I dont know what type. Can I be more than one? Am I a squishy blob of round peg trying to fit into a neat round hole?

If I have met on rare occasions someone who seems to be Dominant I can actually feel myself submitting. I have a very strong will by nature and need in my work life as well as issues in personal life. I do push my luck a LOT. I will push boundaries frequently until I get a response and push back. Then I will back down and submit or push back with a “make me” attitude welcoming a good fight. Grab me and get me to submit, indeed there have been days when I have extremely stressed out I would have welcomed this. Stress relief through physical action, my overthinking brain a way to be quiet. All of which made me think I am a bratty submissive, or certainly one with an attitude a mile wide.

Then there are days when, perhaps due to my depression or anxiety I feel very needy. I love cuddles, I am a very tactile person and want to held, stroked and generally taken care of. I will seek safety and comfort as I want to lie with my head on you, skin to skin if I can, wrapping my arms around you. Does that make me a little?

Is it possible to cross over submissive types and be more than one? Am I concentrating more on a definition and not potential experiences?

Can anyone please help?

5 Comments

  1. You read very much like my Kitten. A strong professional (Emergency Medicine Physician) who is a leader at work and home but when with me alone she is my little, Daddy’s Princess Kitty, my Ginger Fox to my Gray Wolf. (No we aren’t furries, not our kink. YMMV)
    She is my rope bunny from time to time. My submissive in the bedroom. She enjoys impact play as a means to reach subspace and escape from the world.
    As I read other’s accounts and stories, there are as many flavors of subs and Doms as there are individuals.
    You be you. It is the most authentic thing you can do.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. What I was trying to say was you can be all those things. A sub who craves a protector as well as someone to give guidance or pampering.

        Like

  2. I agree with David, just be you, and accept all aspects of your submissive nature, no matter whether you are being the brat or the little, or anything in between. I think being submissive envelops so much, and bottom line is always to just be yourself.
    ~ Marie xox

    Liked by 1 person

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