Exoring D/s as a newbie I am learning a whole lexicon of new terms. Exploring purely online in past year I have (virtually) met some fantastic supportive people. Who have been open to sharing information and experiences in order to increase my understanding. Learn, share, reflect grow and most importantly never judging. Thats so important as growing up and throughout my adult life, people I know have shamed people, mostly women, for exploring their sexuality.
I have identified that I am a submissive but…. I dont know what type. Can I be more than one? Am I a squishy blob of round peg trying to fit into a neat round hole?
If I have met on rare occasions someone who seems to be Dominant I can actually feel myself submitting. I have a very strong will by nature and need in my work life as well as issues in personal life. I do push my luck a LOT. I will push boundaries frequently until I get a response and push back. Then I will back down and submit or push back with a “make me” attitude welcoming a good fight. Grab me and get me to submit, indeed there have been days when I have extremely stressed out I would have welcomed this. Stress relief through physical action, my overthinking brain a way to be quiet. All of which made me think I am a bratty submissive, or certainly one with an attitude a mile wide.
Then there are days when, perhaps due to my depression or anxiety I feel very needy. I love cuddles, I am a very tactile person and want to held, stroked and generally taken care of. I will seek safety and comfort as I want to lie with my head on you, skin to skin if I can, wrapping my arms around you. Does that make me a little?
Is it possible to cross over submissive types and be more than one? Am I concentrating more on a definition and not potential experiences?
Can anyone please help?