That ‘D’ word….

I have been reflecting on the fact that I have totally surprised.. no in fact, I have shocked myself lately. I said it. Those words. The ones I thought I would never say… nope it wasnt (very sadly) that “I’m skinny” (I wish!) this ex-rugby forward has got plenty of padding…what I said was “Yes Daddy”.

Exploring the world of Dominance and submission, indeed my own sexual self-being after years of respression, has admittedly surprised me on occasion. However, never to the extent of saying that phrase! I am in my real “normal” life strong willed, tough, stubborn with beautiful dark eyebrows; if one of those rises up then it shows you that you are in trouble! This is often deployed at work in the tough role I have or in the fact I am not impressed in the slightest and can give an accompanying eye roll. As an ex-rugby forward this curvy mouthy brat could knock you on your ass…but I still said and meant those words.

Exploring myself through writing, NSFW Twitter, friends on there and through chats in the bi weekly forum on SafeworD/s Club, I have identified myself as being more of a submissive than Dominant. A bratty submissive who will one day fight you and giggle as you need to physically make her submit; one who will on occasions happily submit and one who on other days when her anxieties and fears overwhelm her will wish to crawl on your lap. Be held in tight embraces with my head tucked under your chin (being a short arse helps), wanting you to take the pain away.

Trying to define what type of submissive was the last blog post and the general consensus was dont bother. Just be you. Whatever you are. Work on it with your Dominant together through open and honest communication, because that is what is at the centre of any relationship either vanilla or kink… what works for you and your partner(s) not for others to pigeon hole.

So what is the issue then with the phrase “Yes Daddy” as compared to Sir/Master or female equivalents (apologies to the Dommes & Mummies-if those are the correct terms- I am not entirely sure what the appropriate ones are), well to be honest I dont really know. Avoiding all the Greek tragedy references that have made their way into modern language Odepius or Jocasta complexes, or general psychosexual obsessive writings of Sigmund…. it is perhaps because of its connotations for family. If you dear reader are going to the eugh gross place in your head then I may respectfully suggest you avoid either the rest of this post, or modern porn and its age kinks/step-family sex obsessions….

DD/lg or Caregiver/little appear to this neophyte to be based around central themes of love, protection and trust. These consenting adults enter into a D/s based around being soft, kind, supportive and caring. Perhaps a softer way than some of the Dominant approaches ensuring the subs well-being physically of drinking enough water, exercising, eating properly as well as mental well being of love and tenderness through cuddles and care. Its seems a much simpler, often impish dynamic, fun poked by one to the other involving gentle rebellion as well as whatever sexual acts both enjoy! I have read very open and honest examples of love and tenderness through the DD/lg dynamic as well as love with a little tougher, ok a lot bloody tougher- care and love in other D/s couples and dynamics. Its apples and oranges, pick your own fruit people!

As for me, I never thought that I would say “Yes Daddy” whilst being extremely turned on by a certain situation; jeez am 40 for goodness sake & never wanted to say it before. There was only me that was present, nobody heard me and it took me a while to admit it to myself, but damn! I really meant it and said it again. If in the actual physical situation with that person would I imagine say it with trepidation at first but then no problems. It was instinctive, automatic reaction from a spell bound woman. The sound of the thud of the crop, counting down the slaps, the gentle but firm reminder of an error that required correcting….

So there it is. A new point to reflect upon, a situation that was extremely erotic and even now writing this blog I can feel my toes squirming slightly and my smile broadening… Another time or situation my response may be “bring it on!” With a cheeky grin and my whole body language screaming “make me” but would there I wonder be the ‘D’ word hovering on these luscious lips of mine as I grin out at him…….


  1. Well this is exciting. I realise you have probably been intentionally vague in parts but I want to know more.

    I also wanted to say that I can relate. Although we have not explored as much as I would like to I do have a middle side which comes out to play sometimes. Calling HL Daddy would not work well for me in general terms but I can see how it can be very sexy in the right context (the right one for me I mean as I realise that for some this honorific works well all the time)

    I hope that you continue to explore, learning more about who you really are and what you really want. Missy x

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My Princess Kitten is a spoiled impudent precocious brat who is fiercely independent and yet likes the lace trimmed Victorian cotton that I gave her. We never thought we would end up as D/l. But here we are. When it works she feels secure and I am needed. Blessed. Embrace you.


  3. Thanks for sharing Rugby. I have to admit that when I was exploring with my sub, we started out saying daddy and babe( I hate calling women sluts or bitches), but as we progressed in our relationship we upgraded our terms when we were comfortable with it. I was turned on by her calling me daddy, but now I’m even more turned on when she calls me Master. I never thought I would be calling a woman a slut at all, so I see what you mean. Also I have other Twitter followers who call me Daddy, but they aren’t my subs and I do like it.
    However since I’m also a submissive I call my (Domme) princess. We talked about names in the very beginning and that’s what she wanted to be called. I completely agree that communication is key in a D/s relationship but also in any relationships.
    Thanks again for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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