Flirting

My brain has moments of very random thoughts. One that popped into my head was a comment on flirting that reminded me of some times when out with my mate. Its something I am totally shit at! Totally and truly terrible, both at actually flirting with someone and recognising when they are flirting with me. My best friend despairs at me and on one occasion had her head in her hands laughing hysterically; think partly in pain too at my stupidity.

On a night out we were randomly talking and laughing with a group of guys covered in glitter, I thought that they were all gay & just friendly…. nope! Apparently I was totally wrong on that one, as usual according to my friend. One of them was straight, very much flirting and at points unseen by me staring down my cleavage- I genuinely did not notice. Maybe I did see him look, but my boobs always gather some attention and I was wearing a wonderbra as well, so they couldnt really be missed! Its allegedly not the first time either according to my friend. It has happened numerous times we been out that men have hit on me and I just was oblivious. I just thought that people were being nice and friendly and chatting just as I do. Nope they were being nice and had an aim in mind, only time I have actually realised is when a 6ft 7 guy got down on his knees in the street to talk to me (am a lot smaller) and begged me for sex. Cue shock on my face, bestie pissing herself at my reaction and me asking “Why?”

thats it. Thats the crux of why I never notice or am bad at flirting I think; I dont expect anyone to find me attractive. Yes my breasts are totally amazing but they do make me a bit self conscious in clothes. Often they dont sit properly, too tight but in my head I still fight that phrase I was told “boobs great- shame about face”. Now in my 40s I still dont think I am attractive but give much less of a shit. Still surprised if anyone pays me a compliment and god forbid I realise that someone is flirting with I am sure I would ask them where there guide dog is!

Was asked in work one day why was flirting with someone and I didnt realise I was. They just make me laugh, the “banter” between us on the infrequent occasions our paths cross is such a stress relief and sarcasm has definately increased. Thats really my approach, bat eyelashes a bit, give big smiles (masks dont help just now!) as well as subtly I think, I hope pushing my boobs to your attention. Mostly its being as sarcastic as hell and seeing your reaction, if I am extremely polite then either I dont know you, dont like you or want something… I may have this backwards a bit..

So there you are, random brain fart thoughts on flirting. Bring on the funnies, make me laugh but dont expect me to notice if you do flirt….

3 Comments

  1. Can totally understand your thoights that yoiu are not worthy of it. I am the male version always been chatty to anyone and never realised sometines people were interested in me. Same comments from my mates, like ‘check your pockets i think you will find she slipped her number in it! ‘So i think we just have to find our own happy
    From there we can move on

    Liked by 1 person

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